I first discovered the club's accountant, Noel Contendere, seated in a bathroom stall at the Itchy Kitty Klub located in Bayonne, New Jersey. While involved in his weekly hygienic inspection that late evening, he suddenly began shouting profane expletives after discovering a silicone chip embedded deep within the tissues of his sphincter region. To this day, he suspects foul play perpetrated by the United States government.
I'll often catch Noel with his fingers in the cookie jar but keep the flashy shyster on my payroll, nevertheless. Everybody loves his bizarre stories and my favorite is the narrative about his ancestor, the ancient Greek philosopher, Testicles (Pronouned: TES-TAH-KLEEZ). Apparently, this great thinker from the past would speak to the masses regarding the joys and benefits of the ripe, bountiful fruit found underneath another man's sheepskin loincloth. That one's a real knee-slapper.
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5 comments:
Bizarre stories are the best ones!!! I've recently discovered fantasy fiction and have found my imagination had waaay more going on than I knew about. :D
I have to share my true alien story. As a UFO watcher, every once in a while I become frustrated when all I see are twinkling stars and airplanes en route in the night sky.
One night I hollered, "If you're there, come and take me for a ride." At that moment bright lights illuminated my bay window and washed over me.
"I've changed my mind," I hollered, with fear running through my veins. DH came running into the room. Now in a frenzy I wanted to run and hide but my dog's big butt wouldn't let me move. "Move your as@," I said. "They've come to get me." I told DH.
"What do you mean?" he asked, laughing his head off. "Are you referring to that plane that just went over with its landing lights on?"
That's the story of how my life goes. :D
Thanks for posting on my blog. JJ
Thanks for the visit to my blog. Nice little place you have here. The writing ain't bad, either. :D
Liane (recovered trophy wife extraordinaire).
Why can't "I" think up a name like 'yellocake'? Great blog, enjoyed your writing.
Geoff
http://geoff40.blogspot.com
Liane, Lars does have writing talent. Can't we sniff them out. :D Do you think he'd freak if he saw our mermaid tails???
Hugs, JJ
I like "tail". "Tail" is good.
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